Intimacy after a baby - Hello Hunter and Newcastle mums! Our journey as mums is incredible, being a mum is the BEST job I have ever had, hands down but it is also by far the hardest. It is not the most glamorous job by a long shot, the pay is terrible, the hours are long, the bosses often have very unrealistic expectations of us and what just is a relaxing holiday or sick day? But every single day is filled with moments so special that no matter how bad the working conditions may seem on the hard days we all know we wouldn't change it for the world.
A little about me, my name is Tanya. I am mum to two amazing little boys my first is 3 and my second is 7 months old. I live in lovely Lake Macquarie where my boys and I are spoilt for choice of parks and outdoor activities.
Today I thought I would share a very personal journey with you in the hope it can help some of you lovely new mummas out. Intimacy after a baby. For some people its easy to get back on the horse, however for some of us unlucky ones it is a much more difficult journey. All the books I read said wait six weeks so I did, I had my six week check the same day as my baby and of course my husband was very happy to hear that all was well healed and life could go on as 'normal'. That night however things did not go as normal, it was painful. I kept telling myself surely that is normal? Every time my husband and I tried to be intimate it was met with pain and feelings of guilt. Of course being a fairly private person I was embarrassed and kept telling myself it would get better and it would be fine. I didn't really know any other mums, the only other mum I did know had a very different birth so we couldn't even compare. Fast forward nine months. Still pain and of course plenty of strain on our relationship. Finally I swallowed my pride and visited the drs. My lovely dr assured me it was not normal and after an internal exam found that my pelvic floor muscles had developed a memory from birth and was expecting pain from touch, so the muscles were on their own contracting in an attempt to protect me from pain. Thankfully there was a solution; pelvic floor physio. Six appointments later and I learnt how to control these muscles. It took work and practice (which naturally my husband had no objections to) but normality returned (or the new version of normality when you have a baby!).
Normally I tend to be a private person but I think it is important for mums who may not have a mum tribe they can consult or feel comfortable consulting to know that pain isn't normal after a baby and there is no reason to be embarrassed. Don't wait hoping things will get better, seek help there is plenty available and bulk billing options too (though these can take a little longer to get an appointment). Good luck mummas, it wasn't in the job description but it doesn't change the fact being a mum is the greatest job and gift. Also for those of you wondering there were no problems after baby no. 2!