A recent article from Mamamia that caused quite a stir on a page has roused so much emotion in me as a mother that I can’t fight it anymore. If you’d like to see the article click here.
It chronicled a husband’s sad lot, cue the violins. His wife used to be so carefree and fun. Now after a couple of kids, she was boring as and didn’t take time to have sex with him and he felt isolated.
Heres a bit of it:
When I married my wife I was thrilled, she’s very genuine, attractive, laughs a lot and has a good sense of humour. We were a happy couple..
My now ex-wife is an amazing mum, so loving, so dedicated, so in-tune with her children. This incredible love and dedication to her children, however, meant there was nothing left for me and we drifted apart. Life with two small children is exhausting, the demands relentless. If we somehow found ourselves with a tiny bit of spare time whilst our children were having simultaneous daytime sleeps, conversation with me was not important, intimacy was not important. Instead of trying to enjoy some rare time together, my ex-wife would use the time to boil and puree vegetables so that the kids would have some healthy meals in the freezer, just in case.
He felt isolated and unloved so instead of buying his wife some flowers and stroking her probably unwashed hair because, unlike before, she didn’t even get the chance to go to the toilet solo, let alone get two minutes to wash her, once beautiful locks.
Instead of massaging her tired shoulders he choose to tune some other young chick at work, all class mate. Did you ever stop to think why she might be a little less carefree than before? She’s a mother. The day that child is born you become a more serious person all round. You are responsible for a tiny little human who you love with all your heart and soul and despite the fact that you now get no pay check for your biggest job in life, you do it anyway. Day in day out with dedication and steadfastness you do it and it makes you tired and it often takes more energy than you actually even have and it tests your mental strength more than a job ever has.
This is a mother’s right of reply to the husband of that story because she never got to pen it online.
I FELT ISOLATED TOO
The moment I peed on a stick and knew I was going to become a mother, instantly I felt great love but in that same moment I felt isolated, I was instantly responsible for another human.
The moment the first wave of contractions wreaked through my body I felt isolated.
The moment I thought I’d die because the pain of my child coming into the world would kill me, I pushed though anyway but I felt isolated.
The moment a doctor stitched me back together I felt isolated.
The moment I tried to go to the toilet after labour and my body felt like it would fall into the toilet I felt isolated.
When the baby wouldn’t feed and the nurse manhandled me to try and get a ‘latch’ I felt isolated.
When the newborn cried for weeks on end and I nursed on the hour every hour then faced the day with a toddler too and felt like vomiting because I was so tired, I felt isolated.
When I looked at you, so self indulgent and concerned with your lack of sex I felt isolated.
So yeah, I felt isolated too. I could have done with a nice long hug but instead you left and truely never wanted ‘intimacy’ did you? You wanted someone to bonk and you got that for a while.
Sorry it didn’t work out.
Your beloved wife.